...in exactly one month.

Well, here I am. I'm done being fourteen. This is hell, and also boring as hell at the same time.

But here I am, being alive for nearly one more year. Almost one more year closer to my dying day.

And here I am, still a nobody.

Still a wallflower. Though a bit more wall than flower. (Okay, a lot more.)

I think I can finally get my learners permit once I turn fifteen. Which eventually turns into a license. One day. And then I'll be able to get a job that pays and drive there myself, and get the hell out of here.

Of course, marching band isn't as cheap as it looks and I'll be stuck paying for that. Plus insurance for when I crash my eighth car. Oh, and I'll probably be paying college loans off until I'm fifty, and my sisters' too since there's no way there's enough money for us all to go to college. *sigh* There's no money anymore. Anywhere.

I'm one year closer to living in a refugee camp thanks to Obama, says my very cynical dad.

I'm now starting to think that being fifteen isn't going to be so much greater than being fourteen. Maybe I should just stay here forever, never having to move forward.

Never having to choose. Catholic or Pagan?- I get Confirmed next year, and I went for a meeting today with this lady who is supervising my home school class for this all. Boyfriend or not?- I've got two to choose from. Fucking yes. Over him, or not?- my old crush has a frigging girlfriend, but better girlfriend than boyfriend I suppose. Push for more or settle for less?- I just want to sit down and chill, but I want to go further. Be who I want to be, or who society wants me to be? I guess I'll never know...

Ugh. I just want to crawl in bed, throw the covers over my head, and sleep forever.

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Wow, you really read all that? Danggg. Props! =]

Well, I see you've just had the imponderable joy of stumbling onto the blog of an 18-year-old girl who can't really describe herself in 500 words or less, such as in little text boxes like these. She didn't intend her blog to really become so much like her online diary (she was hoping it would have an interesting, helpful purpose to serve the world and all) but blogging is just kind of fun. This girl's a bit of an environmentalist and a full-tilt vegetarian, a bit of an artist who can't draw, a bit of a writer who can't find time to read, and a completely hopeless romantic. She enjoys white chocolate, coloring, wading in creeks, music, Doctor Who, and speaking in third-person when it's unnecessary like this.

Now go read the rest of the blog and meet her, if you like of course. :)