rant on imitation meat.

My mom  insists on buying fake meat products for me. I'm not talking about stuff like seitan, tofu, or bean/rice patties instead of burgers, I mean like... fake meat crumbles. And those make me feel sick. I became a vegetarian because meat and the whole idea of it grosses me out. I don't want to be reminded of it. All that processed crap just sits in your stomach, laughing at you. Ughhhh. The texture is just like meat. Yuck. You eat it just like non-vegetarians. It. Is. Disgusting. And she gets so offended when I say I don't like it, and she's like, tough, we put up with your lifestyle, so you put up with what we buy you. Okay, okay, I can understand that. But she keeps buying it. Why would you do that if it costs more money than buying solid vegetables. Gahhhhhhhhh. It's so annoying!


Why being a geek is good :D

So, since life is feeling kind of listless (pun intended... sorry) lately, I figure I'll make another list.

1. You save money. Instead of blowing it all on mall visits and gas and stuff, you stay home watching anime and reading books. Free!
2. You know exactly what it is that you like. Sometimes when people ask kids my age what they want to do when they grow up, and they just shrug. See I know. Nerds/geeks/whatever you call them know their interests.
3. You can actually stand apart from the crowd and have a little individualism.
4. You don't have to pretend to not care about school and stuff, so you can actually learn something from the class.
5. You can actually change society by following your passions instead of going out and partying all the time.
6. With less friends, you suffer less drama.
7. You don't listen to all that 'mainstream' radio where they cycle through the same eight songs every hour. You actually listen to legitimate and good music.
8. You're free to think for yourself and if anyone judges you, who cares.
9. You're more passionate about things, which makes for more interesting discussion that 'what he said in this one text' or 'who stopped talking to whom.'
10. You never go to bed alone. :) (books der)
11. Learning to ignore haters will make you much tougher and help you deal with difficult people in the future.
12. You're probably sweet and not a shallow douche whorebag slutface.
13. You're probably less tempted by drugs and alcohol and other stuff that can mess up your life.
14. Your friendships are more likely to be genuine.
15. You have a blog. Or you read my blog. Which is good and produces a long cycle of happiness ^u^
16. From all that reading, you have an expanded vocabulary which is good for BSing essays and raping the SAT.
17. You don't need to pour hundreds of dollars into your appearance because you're deeper than that.

...yeah, if you're wondering, I'm sick of the high school clique hierarchy miniculture.


Things that never fail to cheer me up.

Like.... stupid pictures from the interwebs with dumb jokes! :D Have a few of my little gems I saved. And don't judge me for being such a nerd >.>

I hope those made your day, because for reasons unknown they sure make mine xD


that kind of reminds me.

Remember that post I made saying I was in love with N because he was a pokemon rights activist sort of? of course you did, i posted it like an hour ago.
Since my life is totally boy free and I legitimately have a mini-crush on a video game character (which is kind of sad...) and I have the freedom to do this, I figure I will make my dream guy list.

Sooooo, my dream guy is all of these qualities *which i am listing in no particular order*
1. Is sensitive to the needs of others.
2. Feels strongly about some things, but is mostly open minded.
3. Will love the arts and possibly partake in them.
4. Will pursue what he loves without worrying about how much money he makes.
5. Is reasonably good looking. Oh hell, this is a fantasy list. He is damn good looking, then.
6. Has a wink and a grin that will melt my heart.
7. Is just as spontaneous as me.
8. is protective of me. <3
9. Will stay up all night with me watching Star Wars, or doing other stupid stuff.
10. Likes animals.
11. Cares about the environment ;)
12. Listens to similar music as me.
13. Is still a bit of a kid on the inside.
14. Doesn't treat my like a trophy- aka only kisses me when he means it, holds my hand when he means it. He'll kiss me on the forehead or the cheek or the hand or something cute instead of always tongue-in -mouth.
15. Is somewhat adventurous and willing to try new things or take risks.
16. Respects other cultures.
    -while I'm on this subject, I totally wouldn't mind if he was FROM another culture. I admit, i have a fetish for Asian guys. Mainly... Daniel Henney *drooldrool he's mixed race, one of the hottest of all drool* Jiro Wang, Dennis Oh, etc. I can't help it! gahhh. and don't even get me started on bollywood. mm-mmm.
17. Is totally charming.
18. Is honest.
19. can pick me up and carry me home when i get tired :D
20. is gentle.
21. Is a gentleman.
22. This is kinda shallow but taller than me. shouldn't be too hard though. cause i'm kinda short. '-'
23. it would be nice if he were older than me too.
24. Is someone I can have intelligent, deep discussions with.
25. Will take my secrets to the grave.
26. Will never try to change who I am.
27. actually... i wouldn't mind a peter-pan ish kind of guy who keeps me young and we just have fun together. :)
28. That doesn't mean he's irresponsible though. cause he should be.

Now to go out and find him.


When I was little I used to think I was going to marry Ash Ketchum.
And now I kinda think I'm going to marry N. especially since he's like a pokemon rights activist and a total little nerd like me.

nerdgasm on the the green haired guy in the right background. xD
I cannot wait until this comes out in English. ^^ End of story.
PS. I promise to update this blog more. Three posts a month won't cut it. Sorry everyone!!


so i've had a headache for like the past two weeks and it's kinda driving me crazy.

Yeah, remember those electrical, pulsating headaches I get because of my anti-depressant withdrawl that I told you about like two months ago? Yeah, it's still happening, and on top of it all I'm still a negative bitchy dinosaur without the meds.

Almost all of my friends are driving me completely crazy and I just wish it was summer already so I can just not have to see them and cool off.

I'm just so angry lately and lashing out at everything. And everything that I thought I finally pieced together about life this year kind of proved wrong. Now I STILL can't tell my friends from enemies from just random people who don't matter in the big scheme of things. (am i one of those people who doesn't matter in the big scheme of things? kinda scary thought) I'm still terrified of college a little bit, and more and more my parents are telling me to move out and live on campus like i'm terrified of. I'm being a big baby about it, really. and I'm totally torn. part of me wants to move the hell out of this screwed up town and get as far from here as possible, but part of me is just paralyzed by fear and too terrified to leave.

I don't know what to do anymore, which sucks, because a month ago, I had life figured out. GAHHHH. I can't tell if my life realy sucks or if it's the lack of antidepressants, or if the antidepressants had temporarily deluded me into thinking life was great and now i'm back to knowing that it sucks.

Note to self: Never EVER again take meds that mess with your brain. Because now I'm just having a hard time finding the truth.


Hello, senioritis.

Nice to meet you! Guess we'll be the best of friends next year. Haha.



Wow, you really read all that? Danggg. Props! =]

Well, I see you've just had the imponderable joy of stumbling onto the blog of an 18-year-old girl who can't really describe herself in 500 words or less, such as in little text boxes like these. She didn't intend her blog to really become so much like her online diary (she was hoping it would have an interesting, helpful purpose to serve the world and all) but blogging is just kind of fun. This girl's a bit of an environmentalist and a full-tilt vegetarian, a bit of an artist who can't draw, a bit of a writer who can't find time to read, and a completely hopeless romantic. She enjoys white chocolate, coloring, wading in creeks, music, Doctor Who, and speaking in third-person when it's unnecessary like this.

Now go read the rest of the blog and meet her, if you like of course. :)