so i have kind of an off-the-wall confession to make.

I can't wait to have kids. Seriously. Maybe the reason I'm so uptight about not having a boyfriend by now is because if I can't find a boyfriend I can't get married and have kids.

But honestly, I just can't wait to be able to show someone else the world. Experience their innocence. Know what truly unconditional love is, or have someone 100% look up to me and trust me. I just want that, you know?

Like, little kids are so pure and cute... honestly how could you not want to have a baby and experience love like that? My APES teacher is like that. He says he doesn't want to contribute one more to our like 7 billion strong population. Sure, I understand his view, but if people actually taught their kids and cared for them well I'm sure they'd extend that care to the rest of the planet and manage their resources well. And like... how could you not feel a pull to share this unconditional love all humans innately have with someone else? With your family? How could you just... want to bottle that in?

I don't know, honestly, I feel like everything I do now I'm doing for my future kids. I don't go out and drink because I want them to be healthy. I document everything in my life as of now so I'll remember what I'm going through and how I can help them when they grow up. I'm going to college, I'm being good... It's hard to explain. But like... I can't wait. Seriously.
Is that weird?

PS. Actually, maybe I just wish I were Aura Joon. http://aurajoon.blogspot.com/ She is so beautiful; I mean, her life is just so beautiful. I wish I could just drop everything and travel and take pictures of everything. I wish I lived in a beautiful place and had an amazing, loving husband like she does. I wish I could be beautiful like her or as creative or thoughtful as she is. But no. I'm just a kid with a blog trying to figure out the world. But at least I've still got a whole life ahead of me to do just that. :)
And I feel like once I promised you guys a picture of me. So here it is: no makeup, no hairstyling, just me in my jammies and current favorite earrings.
PPS. I'm going to be 17 in a week and 2 or 3 days. I can't believe how fast 2010 went.


The Conductor said...

I know. But high school isn't the place to find boys. THey aren't that mature yet. Wait for college.

The Conductor said...

this is the first picture I've ever seen of you!

Cypress said...

hehe i knowwww (to both of the comments haha) :)

DEE said...

Hi you don't know me, but I am old enough to be your grandma.. I can tell you at 17 you sure have a lot of living left to do..you should be living it and not thinking about having kids until you are a lot older. The conductor is right when he says that the GUYS are not mature enough yet..it's entirely correct. Wait wait until you find the right person..when you meet him YOU WILL SURELY KNOW IT! : )

kungfudonut said...

very interesting blog :)


Wow, you really read all that? Danggg. Props! =]

Well, I see you've just had the imponderable joy of stumbling onto the blog of an 18-year-old girl who can't really describe herself in 500 words or less, such as in little text boxes like these. She didn't intend her blog to really become so much like her online diary (she was hoping it would have an interesting, helpful purpose to serve the world and all) but blogging is just kind of fun. This girl's a bit of an environmentalist and a full-tilt vegetarian, a bit of an artist who can't draw, a bit of a writer who can't find time to read, and a completely hopeless romantic. She enjoys white chocolate, coloring, wading in creeks, music, Doctor Who, and speaking in third-person when it's unnecessary like this.

Now go read the rest of the blog and meet her, if you like of course. :)