11.11.2009

I hate it / Questioning the world: a two part post of complaints and soul-searching

I hate it how people are judged by their apparent style. "You are what you wear," that's the world's philosophy and it is wrong.

Why must we judge each other?

I know why style should matter. It's an important way to express who we really are. But what if you're like me and don't actually know yourself yet so you just pick something? How can you judge them for that?

I hate it how people are classified like animals into cliques and castes because of one person's judgement.

Why must we hate each other?

I hate all the racial clubs at my school. Federation of Christian Athletes. Southeast Asian Society. Muslim Students Association. As if we weren't divided enough.

Why do we always feel the need to belong somewhere, to be a part of something, to be with people just like you?

I feel like that's a huge quirk in the human race.

I hate capitalizing the word i. I do now becuase it's the first letter of a sentence. But we don't capitalize me. Only i. I might not be a good judge of this but as far as i know no other languages capitalize it. I'll do it for the sake of good grammar and out of habit in my posts, but not this one.

Would capitalizing i make us feel that much more important? Is this why we're all so bigheaded?

I hate feeling rejected.

Why can't people just accept each other and make each other feel included?

Why is it that i make myself get rejected?

Why do i reject myself?

Why do i reject others?

Why do i push away what is right in front of me?

Is it that it isn't good enough?

Who am i to be such a perfectionist when i put on the face of hakuna matata all the time?

I hate feeling obligated to do something.

What's the point?

I hate being stressed. Busy, i don't mind, but stress is a no-no.

Is this something we can control?

I hate not being able to say the things i want to say.

I hate being afraid to be who i am because of what others might think.

Why do we feel so oppressed?

Is it all in our heads?

How the heck are we supposed to guess?

I hate it how i have no clue who i am, even yet. I think i just put on a different face for whoever i come across. Is there anyone i'm truly myself with? I mean, all the way?

Why the hell can't i figure it out?

I'm the one who's supposed to know me best, right?

Wrong?

I hate it when i really, really want to write something or do something and i do it and then it comes out awful. I feel like i wasted the feeling. It's like a photo. Once you capture it, however badly, it's gone.

I hate being lonely.

I hate knowing that half of my problems, i cause myself.

Why?

2 comments:

Cypress said...

Thank you, spam.

Cypress said...

Dear whatever asshat who keeps spamming my blog,

First of all, you have no life to keep commenting on this same post that's like a million years.

Second, I hope you get no traffic to your viagra links from my blog. Or from anywhere. Ever.

Third, I hope that you get hit by a bus if you comment with those spam links again.

Fourth, if you're the dude who consistently leaves nonsense chinese comments, I really hope you get hit by a bus if you comment with that again. Or a plane.

Love,
Cypress.

PS. I'm glad we had this little chat. Now get off my blog or stop spamming. <3 Have a super awesome day!

Hello!

Wow, you really read all that? Danggg. Props! =]

Well, I see you've just had the imponderable joy of stumbling onto the blog of an 18-year-old girl who can't really describe herself in 500 words or less, such as in little text boxes like these. She didn't intend her blog to really become so much like her online diary (she was hoping it would have an interesting, helpful purpose to serve the world and all) but blogging is just kind of fun. This girl's a bit of an environmentalist and a full-tilt vegetarian, a bit of an artist who can't draw, a bit of a writer who can't find time to read, and a completely hopeless romantic. She enjoys white chocolate, coloring, wading in creeks, music, Doctor Who, and speaking in third-person when it's unnecessary like this.

Now go read the rest of the blog and meet her, if you like of course. :)