i am an average girl: a poem of confessions and sad truths

Here's a little bit of a poem I've written. It's not really a poem. I call them zings- short for musings, but I think of the band whenever "muse" comes up. Besides, it's not good enough to be called a poem.

i am an average girl.
i have brown hair and brown eyes.
i like a boy. about half of them i know, in fact.
i wish i was prettier.
i wish i was skinner.
i wish my hair would behave.
i don’t get a’s in math.
i still sleep with my stuffed animals and my blankets when i’m sad or scared.

i am an average girl.
i really am a conformist, secretly of course.
i have trouble focusing in class sometimes.
i go out of my way to step on crunchy leaves.
i love random acts of kindness.
i love getting emails and texts and letters and phone calls.

i am an average girl.
i would buy the world if i had the money.
i actually don’t have that much, sadly.
i adore fashion.
i love art.
i spill things on myself, a lot.
i want to try out for winter drum line, but i’m secretly afraid i won’t make it.
i’m not actually a real percussionist, that’s why.
i really play the oboe.
i just play vibes in marching band.
i feel a bit like an intruder sometimes.
i am afraid of saying the wrong things.
i am afraid of hurting someone’s feelings.
i love music.
i believe in magic.
i believe i can save the planet.

i am an average girl.
i secretly find politics fascinating.
i get pissed off when people ignore me on purpose.
i painted my nails today.
i took them off because they looked ugly.
i haven’t repainted them yet.
i would eat nothing but junk food if it didn’t make me fat.
i take it back, i would eat probably a lot of healthy stuff too.
i’m not lying. really, i promise.
i’m not being sarcastic either. for real this time.

i am an average girl.
i am a proud vegetarian.
i don’t eat beef, ham, turkey, chicken, pork, fish, any of that ewie.
i still do eat eggs and dairy though. i’m sorry, chickies and moo-moos.
i just love cheese too much to be full-tilt vegan.
i could probably give up the eggs, though.
i love my family most of the time.
i sometimes sleep so late i miss the bus.
i just typed buns instead of bus.
i have a favorite cereal; it is lucky charms.
i like string cheese, too.
i know lucky charms have gelatin, but i just love them too much to not eat them ever again.

i am an average girl.
i know just about every line of monty python and the holy grail.
i wear jeans almost every day.
i think most of my wardrobe is black, blue, purple, and white or grey.
i hate hairdryers.
i have to wash my hair every day or it gets stringy.
i’m always practically begging for approval.
i’m not sure, but i’d probably change myself just to get it.
i find this sad, because i give off the vibes of being against it.
i am, right?
i cry a lot, but i never let anyone see.
i think it’s just embarrassing.

i am an average girl.
i’m actually more comfortable talking to people through email than anything else.
i secretly wish i had a facebook.
i don’t have one because i’m telling everyone i’d rather be a rebel.
i’m actually afraid to get a facebook for fear of having like two friends.
i think that would be an ego basher.
i think not talking in car rides is awkward, and will say anything just to break the silence.
i usually end up sounding really dumb, and regret it.
i honestly don’t find it ironic or funny that this happens frequently.
i have a piano next to my computer.
i don’t actually own an ipod.
i have a tape player instead.
i am so hardcore. not.

i am an average girl.
i know i’m supposed to be there for my best friends.
i am. always.
i’m always there to listen to them. but...
i really sometimes feel like telling them to just grow up though.
i kind of want to tell them that their problems really aren’t that bad.
i mean, you won’t remember what he said in a week.
i would actually be extremely jealous if i had a million people following me around constantly.
i know they piss you off, but still.
i don’t think your crush actually cares that you did that.
i think this may hurt your feelings, but he probably didn’t even see.
i suggest a bubble bath and then a dose of reality.
i always told you that zits happen. (get it? ha, not funny i guess.)
i want to tell you that you’re lucky to actually have a boyfriend, no matter where or who he is.
i don’t want to be mean though.
i don’t actually say any of this, as you may have guessed.
i still love them anyways.

i am an average girl.
i do not have cable television.
i probably have no plans this weekend.
i actually look pretty good on paper.
i’m a girl scout, barf barf.
i actually do not want to sell you some girl scout cookies.
i would prefer that you do not ask.
i love to read.
i’m afraid of my pet fish, poseidon, dying.
i think i’ll cry when he does.

i am an average girl.
i don’t think i should be capitalized.
i’m just not important enough.
i feel sort of insignificant and a little bit lost.
i may be having a mid-life crisis as a teenager.
i want to travel the planet.
i think i might like living in seattle, since i won’t mind the rain.
i got the idea from hello seattle by owl city.
i know how lame that is, but i love the idea.
i feel like adam young himself would be serenading me if i lived there.
i think adam young is a genius poet in the form of an insomniac musician.
i also think eminem is a genius poet in the form of a drugged up rapper, just so you know.

That's all I'll share with you, but you may now know me better than some of my own friends do.

1 comment:

Jasmine said...

Hi I'm Jasmine
love the blog! (and this poem)

come visit mine? I'd really appreciate it XD


Wow, you really read all that? Danggg. Props! =]

Well, I see you've just had the imponderable joy of stumbling onto the blog of an 18-year-old girl who can't really describe herself in 500 words or less, such as in little text boxes like these. She didn't intend her blog to really become so much like her online diary (she was hoping it would have an interesting, helpful purpose to serve the world and all) but blogging is just kind of fun. This girl's a bit of an environmentalist and a full-tilt vegetarian, a bit of an artist who can't draw, a bit of a writer who can't find time to read, and a completely hopeless romantic. She enjoys white chocolate, coloring, wading in creeks, music, Doctor Who, and speaking in third-person when it's unnecessary like this.

Now go read the rest of the blog and meet her, if you like of course. :)