things, part 6 (things i want to do in life)

1. Hike up the Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine, all 2000 miles.
2. Learn Japanese, and go study in Japan.
3. Go to Australia, work there, live there.
4. Hitchhike somewhere.
5. Fly in a biplane.
6. Stay in the Burj al-Arab.
7. Drive across the country.
8. Live at the beach.
9. Grow my own food.
10. Drop to a size 4.
11. Write a book.
12. Significantly help a stranger.
13. Break a law.
14. Get a cartilage piercing.
15. Watch every single Doctor Who episode.
16. Cut my hair in a bob.
17. Win some big contest.
18. Go to a live concert for some band I really like, like Vampire Weekend or Starfucker.
19. Throw money in the Trevi fountain.
20. Get married and have kids, of course :)

PS. Right now, I'm sick of Colin. I think I'm giving up on him. I always say that, though. Although this time, I think I might mean it.

I know I shouldn't say this, but I really feel like I'm gonna be one of those girls who sleeps around in college. Not because I'm needy or because I'm a whore or because I'm just being rebellious, I think it'll be just cause I honestly don't give a shit and I'll do what I want. I'm tired of letting anyone govern me. Now that I've said that, I'm afraid of actually becoming that... but whatever. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling constricted. I'm tired of feeling deferred. And I'm sick as fuck of getting used.

Now it's what I want to do and, and it's somehow convincing myself that I'm worth it.


The Conductor said...

You want to do that to take the power from men that they have over you. You think that by having sex with them you're going to be doing "what you want" and that's like taking control.

But darling.

I did that. I did it. And it's not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes there are no consequences at all and it's fine. But sometimes you hurt feelings without realizing it, people hurt your feelings even when you thought that you'd taken that power from them. Men can be really, really mean.

Honestly? If you want to have sex to fill your desire sexually--that's fine. Get a boyfriend or a fuck buddy. But make sure you know them and make sure you have a plan. My tips:

1) Birth control
2) no strangers
3) set guidelines early
4) know the difference between love and sex and,
5) don't do anything drunk. Guys look a lot hotter when you're drunk. I saw some guy I'd been slutty dancing with a party at on facebook the next day... not as cute as I'd remembered. Okay?

If you ever have any weird or awkward as fuck questions that you can't ask anyone you know, feel free to shoot me a text. It's better to know and no question is stupid. So many girls go their whole lives not knowing the answers to important questions about sex because they think it's a stupid question or it's too uncomfortable. But let me assure you: it's way better to know beforehand than to learn through practice. Okay?

So think about it. Be safe. I love you.

Cypress said...

Thank you for your adviceeee <3 I treasure it. :)


Wow, you really read all that? Danggg. Props! =]

Well, I see you've just had the imponderable joy of stumbling onto the blog of an 18-year-old girl who can't really describe herself in 500 words or less, such as in little text boxes like these. She didn't intend her blog to really become so much like her online diary (she was hoping it would have an interesting, helpful purpose to serve the world and all) but blogging is just kind of fun. This girl's a bit of an environmentalist and a full-tilt vegetarian, a bit of an artist who can't draw, a bit of a writer who can't find time to read, and a completely hopeless romantic. She enjoys white chocolate, coloring, wading in creeks, music, Doctor Who, and speaking in third-person when it's unnecessary like this.

Now go read the rest of the blog and meet her, if you like of course. :)