Today, I finally think I realized where I truly want to go in life. I can barely describe what I want to say but I think I finally found my path.

I am dumping math and science and all that. It psyches me out. I can never, ever work in an office. I couldn't do anything athletic for my life, and, while I love to help people, I am terrible at talking to them.

So, I have decided that I truly do want to pursue art.

This is really weird to say for those of you know me, but today, I realized that I have a serious passion for fashion. I don't know where that came from. But I really do. I love clothes. I love to see them, I would love to make them. I adore something that looks good. I love colors, especially paired with black. Granted, I have no self confidence whatsoever and don't feel good stepping out of jeans-and-a-t-shirt to wear most of this I'm talking about, but I love them. I am going to pursue art and fashion and design. I'm going to go for music and poetry and writing and painting and all that.

Now, if you're wondering what happened to marine biology, don't worry. I still love it. But I just don't think I can do the whole "scientist" thing. It's so... I don't know. I love it, I love the sea, I love the life that lives in it... but everyone and their sister wants to swim with the dolphins because they think that's what it's all about. Now me, I know it's not. But still...

Well, my dad tells me I'll make no money either way, but for once he says that I should just go where I want. And that is great. Finally. Being accepted, being allowed to go where I want to go. I always tried to do so well in science and math because I knew they thought I was perfect for scientist and that's what I would do, and I didn't want to disappoint them. But hearing that my dad says that I should follow my dreams and go for it, that is awesome. This is the cynical man who says we'll be living in refugee camps in a few years thanks to Obama's health plan.

I can't even tell you how awesome this is. I mean, just a blog post when I finally know where I want to go...

I mean, I thought I'd found my path and my calling before this, but it's never actually felt so right. You just know when something's right. And you can tell it's different from when you thought you knew before.

I guess I'm not making any sense, so I'll just shut up. (wow, I just typed shit up, wow.)

1 comment:

Taylor said...

I so know what you mean! The whole idea of fashion and the way things coordinate is so fun, but scary to pull off.

So here's an idea - since you love fashion, and love the sea, combine them.

That's crazy awesome that your dad's supportive...I'm sorry that your mother isn't. Maybe she'll come around if it doesn't pass?


Wow, you really read all that? Danggg. Props! =]

Well, I see you've just had the imponderable joy of stumbling onto the blog of an 18-year-old girl who can't really describe herself in 500 words or less, such as in little text boxes like these. She didn't intend her blog to really become so much like her online diary (she was hoping it would have an interesting, helpful purpose to serve the world and all) but blogging is just kind of fun. This girl's a bit of an environmentalist and a full-tilt vegetarian, a bit of an artist who can't draw, a bit of a writer who can't find time to read, and a completely hopeless romantic. She enjoys white chocolate, coloring, wading in creeks, music, Doctor Who, and speaking in third-person when it's unnecessary like this.

Now go read the rest of the blog and meet her, if you like of course. :)