pause, more bitchery

I want everyone to shut the hell up and leave me alone. I hate when people ask me questions. Everything I say gets used against me. I’m done with that. I’m done opening up. I used to think communication was the best thing, but I feel like my idea of good communication was me slashing myself open over and over and now my insides are all over the place grossing everybody out.

Sigh.

And what’s weird is I’m dreading talking to my parents lately. It feels like all they ever do is grill me with questions and tell me all the things I’m doing wrong in life. So I just don’t want to talk to them. They ask me things about little details in my day which gets totally annoying. I should be grateful that they’re taking an interest in my life but little details leads to conversations and somehow they always end up getting awkward. Somebody’s GOT to bring up the topics of Colin or sex or both in the same sentence. I swear they know. I just want to let it go. How can I let go of him if nobody else will let me.

I just ate dinner with my family and case in point. Always we end up talking about my apartment next year and the topic of Colin and me playing house or whatever came up and I blushed and my mother and her fucking big mouth just HAD to say “yeah, it was like kissing her cousin, she’s over that now.” Like my dad must have already known because he didn’t even blink. She totally told him. I’m gonna fucking kill her I swear to God. It’s like they’re all testing me to see my reactions to jokes like this. Then mom started trying to tell this thing she read about how you can tell how compatible you are with someone by your saliva and then dad had to go and fucking comment that I was so red my BOOBS were blushing.

Fuck that.

I'm done with 2012 and I want it to stop following me around NOW.

Happy new year, bitches!

:)