So about the soul searching.

I think this is widening my mind quite a bit. My good mood days are a lot more blissful, and my bad mood days are a lot more cynical and stormy. I think this might be good, because learning both sides of the spectrum (or more sides) can allow you to pick your favorite better.

Anyway, for a little over a month now I've been slamming this poor blog with all of my sometimes misguided meditation, speculating, and musing. So physically... here's what's happened to me.
- Colin has been dating her for almost exactly the same amount of time as I started my soul searching.
- I suffered over AP Biology, AP English, and endured the hardships of band practice in blistering heat (which is now succumbing to an early, premature, and absolutely frigid cold).
- My car got broken into and my iPod got stolen.
- My little bff fishie Dylan died. RIP lovey. I'm sorry I had to flush you.
- I watched four new relationships form around me since school started. I'm still flyin' solo. Why does that bug me so much?
- Avoided college applications and SAT/ACT prep.

Most things are still pretty unclear, but here's what I have learned for sure so far:
- The difference between a tourist and a traveler. A tourist seeks a destination, a traveler seeks a journey. Metaphorically speaking, of course. :)
- Sometimes, things don't play out according to your visions...
- But sometimes it's because of stuff you did or didn't do.
- There is no controlling anyone else. No one shapes your destiny but you.
- Oh, my bad, no one has a destiny. You do what you want.
- Sometimes I judge people for doing the same shit I do.
- And sometimes when you want someone to empathize with you, but you don't ever communicate your feelings, then they really would have a hard time with that, so you shouldn't get mad at them.
- You can still find meaning by doing ordinary, mundane things. You don't have to pack your bags and set off for the mountains. (Although that would be nice ^^)

And here are the things I should learn... I think. It's stuff people say. And they're all probably right but I haven't quite wrapped my head around it and accepted it all yet...
- Moving on is natural for everyone?
- After your first love, you'll find love again?
- I create my own opportunities?
- I create my own happiness?
- I am worth something?
- Doing something for myself doesn't equal selfishness?

But yeah that's like my one-monthish report. And now, some lovely pictures which make me happy or inspire me, but mostly both. :)