My sister's crush pretty much told her he likes her and she read the text he sent to her aloud when we were driving and I was so excited for her I squeed and almost crashed the car.
But then when we got home I kinda sat on my bed and stared at the ceiling, like, shit, my little sister officially has more love experience than me. And remember a couple posts ago how I said that my sisters come to me for love advice and I thought it was really cute? sigh.
I didn't think this would bother me, because I really am super happy for her, but it does bother me.
And now I'm like, seriously, though, what the fuck is so great about a boyfriend anyway? I mean, I don't actually know any boys I'd consider even dating. I'm going to the beach in a few days with my best friend's family for a week (who is a guy), and he asked me out once, and he's always been here for me, but would I consider dating him? No. I kind of want to tell him this but I'm afraid he won't understand or he'll take it wrong or something. IDK. I obviously can't tell my sister about this. And my other friends are still being sort of bitchy, so you're welcome interwebs, I'm telling you.
So... unless I get a job (been turned down four times already, probably not going to happen this summer), I pretty much have no way of meeting guys, since I'm stuck with my band family and the entire rising senior class is full of a bunch of fucks who either have girlfriends, are jerks, are gross, or ... idk. friends who you can't date.
and that means i have no boys in my life.
So I've decided, fuck this shit, I'm becoming a lesbian.
.....I'm kidding. I just hate boys currently, that's all. I hate people turning me down before they really give me a chance. I mean, I just get skipped over so much. I can't even get a job. Like, what am I missing that makes me not good enough all the time?
Please excuse me while I go cry and slit my wrists. T.T
I'm kidding again. Just... ughhh.
2 comments:
No offense, but your luck is ALMOST as rotten as mine.
I am turning twenty this year, which means that I will be the only one out of all my good friends that has an age beginning with two. Somehow I feel that this will put me in an entire different category (difficult feeling to explain). There are times where I feel like a poor college student DESTINED to grow up and die lonely...with 27 cats. ;-; I wanna stay 19!
My future looks bleak indeed, especially it things continue to follow the pattern of my entire life thus far. All my close male friends are all the same...in the sense that they are infatuated,no...OBSESSED with my best friends since elementary school (twins actually). It isn't like I would ever date them or anything; I will be forever seen as a sister. You can't date siblings (even pseudo siblings).
My only experience with the male species otherwise is even worse. I naturally attract freaks...and little children. The former being far more terrible. I have horror stories. As it stands, in total I could have my own nightmarish reverse harem from hell, complete with gang members staring up my skirt to homeless men standing outside of wal-mart, telling me sob stories about their abusive ex-girlfriend (of two weeks) to sucker me into believing that they just want to date someone "sweet" - meaning me.
But the worst one yet is my infamous stalker. The one who went into unnecessary detail regarding his memory foam mattress.
(feel free to scroll down to the dating contract if this bores you. And yes, he actually suggested such a thing)
http://thesearchinglife.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-valentines-day-contract-just-sign.html?showComment=1298174455363#c2377734168623943224
I am too lazy to re-write the incident.
Maybe we can make a new blog and we can have a mope-fest together on it. D: good to know at least someone's in the same boat. ...but kind of not, because that means that we're both THERE, which is bad, bad, bad.
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