on my mind today

A four leaf clover: mutation at its best.

It's spring break. I always say I'm going to go out and take pictures, but I haven't.

Easter is less than a week away - I'm counting the hours until I can eat junk food again. You know you're hungry when your stomach is making noises straight out of Star Wars.

I love polaroid photography because the soft edges and cool colors make it feel like a happy memory, like I've already been there before, like I'm always welcome there.

Maybe I should have titled this post "a bunch of random crap nobody cares about." Oh well. Happy monday!

looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow

i wish that time would stop
and it would be 10:55 pm forever
so i don't have to face
what tomorrow is going to bring.

feeling slightly unloved

This is something I found today. Story of my life.


To an unknown dearest,

I have never met you. You have never met me. Has fate decided it this way? Will I see your face one day? Or shall we be divided by the seven seas, the indomitable waves splashing our stunned cheeks until we’ve had enough? I look around me here in the city. Of all these people, the busboy and the grocery store cashier and the telemarketer and that man walking across the street right there, how could I mingle with all of these people and not find you? I hate to think, what if one of the thousands of people I see a year was you and we passed each other, those three seconds of interaction never occurring, never talking, never caring? We just never knew, we never knew…

God, this wistful contemplation is hard to take, and yet we must wonder.

Know this, my dear, that you are not alone. I can’t fathom how I’ll feel when you find that girl oh yes that girl whom you will adore with all your porcelain heart, how I’ll smile when I hear of you making your success in this bittersweet, cruel world, how I’ll wonder what could have been. But know this, darling, that you hold a special place in my heart.

Your unknown beloved

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Chew on that.

i woke up and my house was gone

just kidding.

Anyways... the month of march is ridiculously busy for me so I figure I'll squeeze in a post now about life and just kind of put this blog on the back burner for the rest of the month.

I was going to write about my birthday now, in case I don't get a chance later. Last week I was at my Confirmation class and we were talking about gifts. One girl said that when her mother was still pregnant with her she made a video, that she would give to her on her sixteenth birthday. She was talking about her being sixteen when she wasn’t even born yet.

I’ll do that for my kids. I think I’ll make a video on my sixteenth birthday. For my daughter. I don’t even know her yet. I don’t know if I’ll even have daughters. Or what if I have more than one? Should I show it to all of them then? I dunno, I was hoping it would be an eldest daughter to eldest daughter heart to heart.

I guess... I’ll talk about my lack of a boyfriend, how I fill my time, some of my worries, my friends, the music I like, my interests, my classes, things that kids like to do, my sisters, my parents and my relationship with them, sex, movies, kissing, boyfriends, friends in general, parties, drugs, school, driving, books I like, values, religion, my hot buttons, boys I like, things I like about boys, fashion, my hopes and dreams, that sort of thing. Teenage girl stuff. Maybe I'll wear some crazy hippie outfit or rad 80's thing as a joke to freak her out, like "omg mom you're so ooooold!" or whatever. Kind of hard to imagine... but still.

The only problem is doing it when the house is empty, because I need to speak up and I don’t want to be spilling my life as a new sixteen year old to apparently no one. I’m actually super excited about this. Maybe I’ll start writing a transcript. Or something... That kind of is lame.

But yeah.

my new facebook status is...

Cypress is officially brain dead, and has replaced her soul with coffee, therefore becoming immortal.

That's what it would be if I weren't to lazy and too tired to go downstairs and change it that. FB doesn't work on this computer.

hey, karma

you're a bitch.

but revenge is sure sweet.