Cypress is making up her mind.

I am finally getting my hair cut. It's painfully boring. It's like an exact cross between these images. It's not as dark or straight as the second one, but it's not as light, curly, or as choppy as the first one.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/wavy%20brown%20hair/droundy/trachtenber97141.jpg

http://www.haironthebrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/hzuzgnc4igowyic28ihel3jao1_500.jpg

Kind of got an image of what my hair is like?

What should I do with it? Comment/vote please.

texting, part 2

I've been waiting for him to text me back. I've whined at my phone, played with the charger cover, and tossed it away when I got pissed at it.

Just now, it vibrated. I dove out of my chair, tripped on my rug, got my foot stuck in my bag, and accidentally pulled part of my bed spread off the bed- all in a mad dash for my phone that sat dead center on my bed.

I excitedly opened it up...

only to find an automated message I set up to remind me to take my drugs.

Disappointment.

butterfly

i look up and see wings beating against the window. it was then i realized that a god who can turn a caterpillar into a butterfly can surely make something new of me...Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̄

texting

today, i texted the guy i like because he said he was bored and posted his number on facebook. he texted back. we had a conversation, and when it was reaching a lull, he pushed it on.

he's jewish, but he wished me a merry christmas.

this is going to be the best christmas ever.

also, there is no way that i am ever getting to sleep tonight. i'm way too excited.

i mean, i took a leap of faith, risked making a fool out of myself, and drooled by the phone, worrying that he hated me so much he wouldn't text back.

but he did, and this is a huge boost to my self confidence.

score one for cypress.

.....

merry christmas, everyone, or whatever you celebrate.

Christmas

This is Christmas, created to compete with the Pagan holidays and to ultimately become vastly commercialized. This is Christmas, where we all lose sight of its true meaning.

Jesus, I know this is not your true birthday. I know that I sometimes lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. Has this become a holiday of lies? Of superficial happiness? Of buying gifts and presents? It's like we have forgotten the real meaning, whose birthday we're supposed to be celebrating.

I have not been a very good Christian, and there are days that I haven't even been a good person. But I ask that you forgive me, in the spirit of Christmas. Am I even a Christian? I think maybe so. But in light of the celebration of your birth, I beg forgiveness. It's not your real birthday, but this is when we celebrate it. I understand this, and I vow to become a better Christian, a better person as a whole.

I've been wandering for far too long, and I think it's time I settled down in the place I truly belong, which I know that one day I will find.

Owl City – The Christmas Song

It’s Christmas and we walk alone
Two strangers with no one to miss us
On our own
Out in the cold

Trudging onward
Braving a harsh winter storm
You and I met passing by
And now our spirits feel warm

I don’t have anyone at home to talk to
And you don’t have anything to do
So I’ll spend my Christmas with you
I’ll spend my Christmas with you

It’s Christmas and we are in love
With the way that the soft snowflakes kiss us
From far above
The blustery breeze

Trudging onward
Braving a harsh winter storm
You and I met passing by
And now our spirits feel warm

I believe that Jesus is truly the only way
I celebrate Christmas because it’s his birthday

I don’t have anyone at home to talk to
And you don’t have anything to do
So I’ll spend my Christmas with you
I’ll spend my Christmas with you
I’ll spend my Christmas with you
I’ll spend my Christmas with you

Hi bye

I have a ridiculous amount of homework to do. I should post all the artful (not) things I've been thinking and writing lately but i shouldn't even be on here right now because I just have that much to do.

just posting to let you all know i haven't died. bye.

Hm.

Today I saw my neighbor going jogging; I passed him when I was driving at about where the pond to where my Narnia used to be is, before they cut down all the trees back there. I got upstairs and put my dress in my closet (we’d come back from the tailor’s after deciding it didn’t need tailoring after all), then went to my window because I wanted for some strange reason to watch him come back up. As I got to the window, I saw that he was jogging up his driveway. He jogged to the sidewalk, walked to the front door, and stopped and leaned on the railing and panted for a moment, then went inside.

I don’t know why, but I thought that was kind of interesting to watch. Like I was a part of his life for a moment. We’re neighbors, the very same age, and our lives cross in so many ways, yet we’re still almost like strangers.

À la claire fontaine

À la claire fontaine,
M'en allant promener
J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle
Que je m'y suis baigné

At the clear fountain,
While I was strolling by,
I found the water so nice
That I went in to bathe.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai

So long I've been loving you,
I will never forget you.

Sous les feuilles d'un chêne,
Je me suis fait sécher
Sur la plus haute branche,
Un rossignol chantait

Under an oak tree,
I dried myself.
On the highest branch,
A nightingale was singing.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai

So long I've been loving you,
I will never forget you.

Chante rossignol, chante,
Toi qui as le cœur gai
Tu as le cœur à rire,
Moi je l'ai à pleurer

Sing, nightingale, sing,
Your heart is so happy.
Your heart feels like laughing,
Mine feels like weeping.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai

So long I've been loving you,
I will never forget you.

J'ai perdu mon amie,
Sans l'avoir mérité
Pour un bouquet de roses,
Que je lui refusai

I lost my beloved,
Without deserving it,
For a bunch of roses,
That I denied her.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai

So long I've been loving you,
I will never forget you.

Je voudrais que la rose,
Fût encore au rosier
Et que ma douce amie
Fût encore à m'aimer

I wanted the rose
To be still on the bush,
And my sweet beloved
To be still loving me.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai

So long I've been loving you,
I will never forget you.

A French song poorly translated by my friend and me, with help from our French teacher and of course, the internet.

Feeling small again

I feel small in this huge world.

I feel insignificant.

I feel a little bit helpless and hopeless.

This is not a new feeling,

And I'm still just going to pretend it's not there.