Like, holy cow

I am stressed. I will tell you why.

I had a test today and a project due today, I have a concert at a big fancy concert hall tomorrow and a dress rehearsal at night.

I'm the first chair oboist, and I still have to worry about new music in band.

I have a huge chore to do list at home, which I should be whittling down now instead of blogging. *sigh*

I keep having nightmares that take place in the future, only I stay the same age.

AND I have to fill out a leadership form and write an essay or whatever and go to band camp for two extra days if I even want to be considered for section leader later.

The stupid freaking pacer test which I failed the first time in PE is coming up again in two weeks and I don't want to have anymore asthma attacks.

Life is confusing in more ways that one. Or fifty.

I'm going to still have that intern/lab job/whatever it is over the summer, I'm going to have almost no spare time. I have almost no spare time now.

Oh, ya, I have an oboe lesson this Saturday too, and I have to go to stupid environmental club on Thursday because my friend wants me to. even though I promised I wasn't going to go this year any more, because it was too awkward to just latch onto some group and go with them. Because my friend wouldn't go with me. I don't even care if she sees this, she doesn't read my blog anyway.

She totally ditched me and left me behind. So did the other girl who was once my friend. Friends don't do this. She says hello if I say hello first. She looks away if I look at her. I'll email her, she'll email me back once or twice then like forget I even sent her an email.

AND I MISSED BELTANE. *facepalm/palmface* I MEAN WHAT KIND OF PAGAN AM I TO TOTALLY FORGET THAT. *smacksmacksmack* IDDDDDIOT.

Anyhow, Beyond this Moment is the only thing to help cool me off. Thanks, Tay. (Seriously, google search it. Beyond This Moment by Patrick O'Hearn. Most beautiful effing song in the universe.)

Thanks for reading that, if you did.