argh

It's just that kind of day.
So here's my stats list. For lack of a better name, a little glimpse into my mind today.

Clothes: T-shirt, jeans, and fuzzy blanket.
Hair: kind of in need of a wash.
Nails: unpainted.
Makeup: still in all of its cute containers and not on my face.
Room: messed up, bed unmade, dirty laundry spilling out of the basket, outlets tangled with charging electronics, unfinished homework all over the place, room torn apart and camera nowhere in sight.
Listening to: Ellie Goulding, Bitter:Sweet, Two Door Cinema Club, Miike Snow, A Fine Frenzy
Locations: Church for last theology class, piano stool, curled up in the corner with  laptop, books, or homework.
To do list: laundry, transcription project, precalc homework, study for APUSH and APES exams, neaten up room, cover up holes in the wall where old mirror used to be.
Happiness: 58%.
       There's always things to be pissed or happy about.
   Happy-making: new music, it's a reading with a blanket kind of rainy day, theology class, see Jimmy, not dying of allergies.
   Unhappy-making: Aves has a girlfriend and she came to the winter drum line competition yesterday and they like... kissed, broken vibes pedal wrecked my solo, lots to practice, left oboe at school, music theory project, everyone is in a relationship except me, dad is freaking out cleaning the house, tired and in a plain old bad temperament.
Health: 81%
      Not dying of a cold today because all the pollen is wet and running down the driveway, staining the car I just washed a vibrant shade of this. Also, cough receding. But headache persists and I feel kind of gross today, not just because I haven't felt like showering yet. I guess bad moods can bleed into your desire to make yourself feel better.
iPod charge level:  17%. Gahh.
Homework completion: 25%.
Number of annoying little zits: about 5.
Number of freckles: shut up, I haven't gotten outside to "tan" yet. don't hate.
Number of flying nuts i give about girl scouts, college apps, NHS, service hours, and other bullshit things colleges pretend to care about: about how many miles there are from here to the end of the universe.
Number of books I said I'd read but havent: lots.
Number of pages I am currently into the book I'm reading right now: 90/172
Number of fruit breezer cough drops consumed today: 3, because they're just delicious.

j'adore le printemps, chapitre un

 It means, "I love spring- chapter 1." :) I plan on taking lots of pictures because I forgot how much I love this time of year, when one evening the world is grey and the next morning it's glowing in a faint veil of pastel colored buds. :3

And here for you is a video that is a compilation of all these videos I took when I went to the creek behind my neighborhood. The place where I sat had these beautiful trees but unfortunately they're like right on a road, and like a hop skip and a jump from the highway, so you hear cars. But I left in all the original sound so you do hear running water and bees and birdies!  I love shots of trees swaying in the breeze. Enjoy!!

well, maybe, it didn't quite load and I'm too lazy to wait for it. *sigh*

so i have kind of an off-the-wall confession to make.

I can't wait to have kids. Seriously. Maybe the reason I'm so uptight about not having a boyfriend by now is because if I can't find a boyfriend I can't get married and have kids.

But honestly, I just can't wait to be able to show someone else the world. Experience their innocence. Know what truly unconditional love is, or have someone 100% look up to me and trust me. I just want that, you know?

Like, little kids are so pure and cute... honestly how could you not want to have a baby and experience love like that? My APES teacher is like that. He says he doesn't want to contribute one more to our like 7 billion strong population. Sure, I understand his view, but if people actually taught their kids and cared for them well I'm sure they'd extend that care to the rest of the planet and manage their resources well. And like... how could you not feel a pull to share this unconditional love all humans innately have with someone else? With your family? How could you just... want to bottle that in?

I don't know, honestly, I feel like everything I do now I'm doing for my future kids. I don't go out and drink because I want them to be healthy. I document everything in my life as of now so I'll remember what I'm going through and how I can help them when they grow up. I'm going to college, I'm being good... It's hard to explain. But like... I can't wait. Seriously.
Is that weird?

PS. Actually, maybe I just wish I were Aura Joon. http://aurajoon.blogspot.com/ She is so beautiful; I mean, her life is just so beautiful. I wish I could just drop everything and travel and take pictures of everything. I wish I lived in a beautiful place and had an amazing, loving husband like she does. I wish I could be beautiful like her or as creative or thoughtful as she is. But no. I'm just a kid with a blog trying to figure out the world. But at least I've still got a whole life ahead of me to do just that. :)

And I feel like once I promised you guys a picture of me. So here it is: no makeup, no hairstyling, just me in my jammies and current favorite earrings.

PPS. I'm going to be 17 in a week and 2 or 3 days. I can't believe how fast 2010 went.

Today I was listening to the radio in my car.

So I'm driving down the highway right. And on the radio, the announcer comes on at the end of some random song. And I'm not really listening anymore until he says his name is Major Tom. Then my ears perk up. He clarifies - it's his little DJ name or whatever, and whoever can name what it is a reference to gets tickets to a concert.
I was like, OMG DAVID BOWIEEEEE and I called in right away. And I called like eight more times. And then someone finally picked up and said they gave away the tickets already.
Sigh.
Then I realized I didn't even know what the concert was or who was playing; I just wanted to win. Haha!

-.-

I don't feel much like writing, so instead I'll share with you some pictures I've been meditating on while contemplating interior design.