I'm supposed to be doing homework.

But I figure, in the event that Aves or any other nice, cute, non ass, non gay guy would decide to ever ask me out, I would opt against the conventional movie or coffee first date. I don't even like coffee that much. So over the past few days that I've been thinking about this I came up with a list of other date ideas.
Here are some of my little gems:
- Go on a photo safari.
- Try the "weird" ice cream flavors like jamocha and pistachio.
- Go to the flea market.
- Pack a picnic lunch.
- Go stargazing.
- Make a pilgrimage to the drive-in 50 miles away.
- Go ice skating.
- See local bands
- Cook dinner for each other/together.
- Have movie marathons.
- Go to the art museum.
- Blow bubbles.
- Go to Paint Your Pot
- Go to the planetarium.
- Go wading in the creek.
- Debate about ethics.
- Volunteer together.
- Draw each other.
- Play board games.
- Play video games.
- Watch vintage movies.
- Play "PENIS" - where one of you has to yell "penis" louder than the other in a public place. very funny game:) saw it in 500 days of summer. lulz.
- Go to the zoo.
- Go to the mall and play dress up.
- Sit in the grass by a highway or railroad tracks... watch the world go by.
- Feed ducks.
- Go to a playground. 
- Go to target and play with all the toys. (nerf guns, bouncy balls, etc.)
- Find each other's ticklish spots. (ohhhh scandalous0.o)
- Write songs togeter.
- Go sunbathing.
- Play-doh.
- Pretend you're in a photo booth and take pictures.
- Or go to an actual photo booth.

Sadly... my first date will still probably be a movie date. If there is a first date.
god i need a confidence boost.

okay, so i know nothing about boys.

I just feel like kind of a loser today.
I heard "Aves" and "is gay" in the same sentence and I was like... dammit. What if he is??? *bites fingernails psychotically*
That would suck, since all the guys I've liked have either turned out to be assholes, creepers, or gay. *sigh*
And this guy likes my sister and she likes him too, but neither of them admit it.
I've gotten over myself and I don't really care anymore if she gets a boyfriend before me.
I've learned to just be happy for her.
I try to listen politely when she whines to me.
Or when she tells me the same story about him for the eighth time.
Or calls me to ask me to pick her up from his house (apparently, she walked there).
Then I tried to give her some advice as she whined, and she shot me this look like "bitch please."

Considering my love experience consists of: my guy best friend from eighth grade asking me out freshman year (ahem ... it would be like kissing my brother), some guy stalking me to All-District, and another guy in my Marine Ecology class stalking me on facebook and never talking to me in person, liking a football player who STILL doesn't know my name nearly three years later, a drum line guy who came out as gay and... Jimmy and Aves, I would say... she's right.

My sister is in her freshman year and has been asked out twice.

Aves is probably gay, Jimmy likes Sophie.
GAHHHDAMMIT.

i've figured it out.

The reason why I've been feeling so weird is because I haven't had a real "F*#$ Yeah" moment for a while. In fact, I can't think of the last time... except when I got section leader over this one girl, who, last year all the time, was like "oh yeah, when i'm section leader next year..." ha!

but... That's my new years resolution, I've already thought of it.

so things might be about to get a little messed up.

My grades are slipping, I'm upsetting my friends, I still have no chance in guy land, my parents aren't that happy with me, my room is a wreck, my teachers are disapproving, I'm losing half of my possessions, I go to bed late and wake up late, I'm getting sick, I think my ankle is sprained, I'm losing touch with old friends, I'm becoming a betch, I am lazy as a cow, and I'm causing some drama because I'm becoming quite a large mouthed gossip.

I'm letting a lot of this go to my head. Because my hard work finally paid off, now I find myself assuming that I'm going to ride a wave of success all the way to college.

well... that wave is about to crash and i'm about to end up on the rough, hard beach with a mouth full of gritty sand, it the only person to blame is myself.

So brace yourself for some bitchy posts coming up! Less art, less environmentalism, less politics, less inspiration, less poetry, less insight, less music... more cypress complaining. You're welcome.

_______________________________________________

I'm sick of being your option.

You come crying to me that all your friends have ditched you.

Well good, because you now know what that feels like.

I'm tired of being everyone's second choice.

With that guy I've liked since second grade... I'm not even on the radar.

Somebody told me that he and the bubble head don't even like each other that much.

So why do they do it?

It does make me feel a little better.

But that's Jimmy.

Now Aves on the other hand?

I've liked kind of in the back of my head, because ...

I know things with Jimmy

Just won't work out.

Aves is always nice to me.

Plus, he's a little cuter than Jimmy.

Still both of them hang out with a bunch of senior guard girls.

but now that band is over maybe I'll have a chance.

I just get the feeling that maybe he's my first choice, over Jimmy.

And is it possible, that, for once, I could be his?

up to my ears in homework

sorry for lack of posts. D: