wedding waltz

When I get married, this will be the waltz I dance to with my new husband.
just saying.

for cypress, life's pretty good.

So ... my sister's girl scout leader suddenly died because of brain cancer, i had a shitty audition and didn't make the all district band, aves still like has no clue i exist, and exams are tomorrow.

but i'm blowing bubbles in my tea like a five year old, with a warm computer humming on my lap, and my favorite song whispering out of the speakers.

despite all the crappy stuff, life's actually pretty good right now.

It's on.

One quirky thing about me is that sometimes I love to prove people wrong. Right now, I'm going through a phase of I-really-just-don't-give-a-shit.

I keep telling myself I'm totally worthless to boys. I'm not pretty enough. I'll never be good at ukulele. I'm a crappy section leader. Winter drum line is going to suck. The people at the museum don't like me. I'm sooo negative. I'm too fat. I'll never fit into size fours. I'm lazy. I'm too dumb to get straight A's. Math is too hard for me. I'll never actually be a real marine biologist since I'm so terrified of college. I'm just a big baby. My style is totally drab. I'm a needy creeper who is addicted to facebook. I always sound dumb. I can't overcome depression. I'm just not worth it.

Sometimes I just give up because I keep thinking not one of these little things is ever going to change.
So in 2011... I'm going to prove myself wrong. Muahahaha!

This is amazing.

just sayin'.

It hasn't even been the new year for 10 minutes and the little widget in my sidebar says we've already consumed 9 million plastic bags.

Cool story bro.

Now... I'm feeling a bit cynical tonight, but I hope this won't rub off into the coming 2011. Usually I'm like "oh new year fuck it there's no difference between december 31 and january 1. it's just an excuse for people to make resolutions they won't actually bother keeping *ahem*" And I'm like that now.

There are fireworks going off and my cynical mind is like "oh shut up I'm trying to sleep." but i'm not. I'm just being a butt.

*sigh* This isn't quite how I wanted to start 2011. Last year we were finding out about now we made pregame at the *****bowl. and we were going to perform in the morning in front of 80,000 people. and jacob was texting me.
We haven't made anything, I'm not making much progress on my schoolwork, Aves is not texting me, and I think I should just go to bed.

Oh well. We should all put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again :)